Plan B is the new Plan A
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
