If that was your dad, he is hot
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
