i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
