he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
