I heard we made out
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!