The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
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was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?