you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples