My nipple is on Facebook.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are we still banned from the library?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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