You made me cry and you don't even care
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"