At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.