i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
