Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
