Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
