Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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