If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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