So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
