I'm gonna have a badass scar
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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