batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize