life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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