If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
