Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need a beard to bite.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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