worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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