i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
