I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
