K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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