so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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