They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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