9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize