new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
