i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
