Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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