Are we in a gay sports bar?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
