1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize