I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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