I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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