Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
