cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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