You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
