East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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