i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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