need another drink. this is the easiest way
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
