I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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