lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
