I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize