He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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