is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
