How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
