Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
