yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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