Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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