While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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