and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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