So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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