turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
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How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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