Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
