BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
