wat bout pragnant strippers??
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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