he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
