We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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