Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
