Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
