Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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