and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
