I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
