they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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